Amarantha LaBlanche

Some people asked me what was going on here, cause they saw some postsof me on other pages talking about painkillers and hospitals.

So I'll just explain myself righthere about what REALLY happened, the wild stories are everywhere at the moment ;-)

I already had a harsh flu going on for a whole week, high fever going between 40C. - 39C. for a couple of days already.

My ears were hurting a lot, but I didn't want to cancel my plans for some ear pains.

Still I thought driving to Amsterdam and performing on saturdaynight would be a great idea.

Once I dress up, fix the makeup and hair I can hide my illness or bad feelings in a minute and fight myself through it.

But this time it didn't work, I kinda collapsed during the party and ended up on the couch backstage.

My earpain got worse and I felt my fever coming back heavily. Suddenly my ears started to bleed, first just a bit but later on it kept on running out nonstop. I just put some cottons in it and thought I'd visit the doc "tomorrow".

I did the performance with my Bloodsquad, and thought I was going to hell afterwards.

It was like watching a muted tv, people were talking but I couldn't hear it.

I couldn't take it anymore, and the bleeding was going on and on.

It fucking creeped me out, and the firstaid people of the venue told me to go straight to the hospital RIGHT NOW.

So I went to hospital, and apparently just in time.

The doc told me I could have been deaf if I didn't drop by rightnow but tomorrow.

He found a hole in my eardrum, which could be caused by ignoring theflu, denying you got a cold and just keep going without taking goodcare of yourself. Well alright, the message was clear to me. I know I should have taken better care of me.

The hole caused an acute mid.ear infection and caused all this horrible pain and blood.

The doc gave me painkillers and antibiotics which directly started to work.

I had to drive back 1h while having these awful pain attacks in my ears, I think I never cried so much for physical pain.

Rightnow I am still deaf, I can only hear a little bit with one ear if I really focus on it.

It's not much though..

Things will all be alright but this takes time to recover.
The deafness might take another month before my hearing is back to normal, and I'll have to wear earplugs for protection of cold, noise and dirt. Lots of painkillers I popped these days to feel okay, but this way I cansurvive it pretty well :-)

The internet is so important to me these days, cause talking is really difficult.

I cannot hear myself and feel like yelling, while people tell me I amspeaking so softly, almost whispering.

I have no sense of volume at all, and I cannot understand what people say if they talk fast, soft or mumble stuff at me.

I have to read lips for now, and focus on the little bits I hear ;-)

Messages are always welcome cause it's damn lonely out here for the moment.. I hope I can leave this house soon and start enjoying the love of my life - music - again.

Kisses,

Amarantha